Inquire2Empower

Anger has largely been adopted as first response. You see it on the road, in stores and places of business. Heaven help you if you’re in a position of authority. This seems to be accepted as a post covid way of being. There is no shortage of reasons to be angry in the world that is ours. There are many examples of injustices on a small and grand scale. There also is a sense that our voice is too small to be heard or to make any difference even if it is. Lies trump honesty. Money is power. We could easily justify living in anger. 

Recently I arrived at celebration of life for Jasmina, a bright, bubbly, young woman of 24 years old who was filled with promise and potential. I was one of the broken hearted who entered the church counting down the hours of when it would be over. I brought with me my history of traumatic deaths and the “celebrations of life”, funerals, and death events in which despair, anger, frustration, and loss commanded the day. And yet what happened this time was transformational.

The grief, the loss, and the sadness were palpable in the church. Yet the service, largely planned by Jasmina reflected her.  Pink. Flowers. Guests wearing bright happy colours. Upbeat music. Slide shows of her smiling and doing the things she loved with family and friends. Her audition tape for St. Laurence College. Jasmina had primed her mother for the eventuality of her death.  Her mother is devastated but she put on her mother / teacher hat and did the eulogy of all eulogies that demonstrated that joy, pride and gratitude for a life shared has the ability to trump anger.  

I was given the bible reading from John 11 with the story of the death of Lazarus. I was relieved that when I read “Jesus wept” that I didn’t. My maternal grandmother used to consistently tell me that my tear ducts were too close to my bladder. But the point of the story was that tears were not a sign of weakness. The sadness of Mary, Martha, the Jews and Jesus was reflected in tears for Lazarus. There were many tears for the loss of Jasmina and that was respected as a path forward.

Sad things that we don’t understand happen, as do things that are unjust. We all look for ways to make sense of life and what it is thrown down at our feet. There are many ways to tackle this meaning making. Some people find pathways in nature. Some find it in the stories of different faith traditions or religions. Some never find a way to make sense of their life and despair.

We can’t control everything that happens in our lives. The unanticipated can leave us reeling. The only control we have is where we are going to focus our attention. Joy and gratitude take significant effort but create a sense of purpose and the potential for happiness. Anger also takes significant effort but provides a direct conduit to a pit of despair and bitterness that only sucks you down further the longer you live there. The choice is yours.

Disruption is heralded as a meaningful way to create innovation or shake things up. We’ve seen the impact of technological change in terms of innovations that have not only changed commercial enterprise but our lives. However, “disruptors” in the political arena seem to be doing more to deconstruct the fabric of democracy that facilitate intelligent discussion.

The word, democracy, has its roots in Ancient Greece. It comes from the Greek words, “demos” meaning people and “kratos” meaning power. This system of government is based on people having the right to express their power through elected representatives in a political system with free and fair elections. I understand that there are frustrations with mechanisms for participation, accountability and transparency in the decision making of our leaders, but it is the only system of government that I choose for Canada. Work to improve it does not dismantle it.

I went to a breakfast meeting this past week organized by my Member of Parliament. I wanted to listen to the speaker on climate change and participate in meaningful discussion. I was also interested in articulating my concerns with the understanding that my MP would take them back to discussions in Ottawa. The meeting was extremely well attended so obviously there were many people feeling the same way. 

The self-congratulatory “disruptors” amassed outside the restaurant and were successful in making it impossible for the people at the back to hear with their two-word chant. A few of the disruptors made their way into the room to commandeer the question-and-answer period. The purpose was not to ask questions but to seek a platform for their issue. It did not pertain to Liberal climate change policy in Canada. The disruptors were angry, aggressive, and hostile. When the MP tried to respond, she was ridiculed. The intention was to humiliate. As each disruptor left the restaurant, they yelled their two-word chant, not for anyone in the room, but to garner accolades from their supporters outside. 

The disruptors created anger and backlash from the group. This did not come from being opposed to the significant human rights issue of concern. The people in the room were frustrated because they were prevented from participating in democracy with a loud two-word chant. South of the border, we see democracy being circumvented on a regular basis by well-funded lobby groups, the loud and angry mob, and groups like the NRA that are unable to consider the relevance of data that runs contrary to their platform. I still believe in our ability to participate in intelligent conversation in Canada. This is based on our ability to participate in the democratic process.

I am not opposed to peaceful protest. Organize. Do not reduce your argument to simplistic slogans or power plays. Do your homework. Collaborate with like minded groups. Have your data readily distributed. Do not presume people to be uninterested, unsympathetic, or dismissive of the issue.  Invite people to come and to learn, including politicians. The two-word chant is to unite the group not to shut down other voices. Use it during your demonstrations.

The strength of a democracy is the allowance for divergent perspectives. In Canada the loudest views have not yet completely usurped the rights of other citizens. We see many examples south of the border that demonstrate the fragility of free speech and democracy. Margaret Atwood’s dystopian society of The Handmaiden’s seems to be moving from speculative fiction to American nonfiction. Every Canadian has a right to have a voice and to express that in a way that can be heard. Every Canadian should exercise that right in any way that they can while being respectful of that they are not impinging on those same rights of other Canadians. When you justify stomping on other people’s democratic rights and freedoms, you are vulnerable to losing your own.   

The final preparations are underway for the pilgrimage on The Portuguese Way to Santiago de Compostela. It started as a COVID dream and at the tail end of Covid en route to see my father in Los Angeles. I purchased a little book in my favourite bookstore in Portland, Powell’s Books, called The Portuguese Way To Santiago de Compostella by Sérgio Fonseca. It has provided the inspiration, the history, and the practical information to get me this far. I have joined the requisite facebook groups and digested many YouTube videos. My husband has developed the ever so detailed itinerary for the pilgrimage and arranged for Portugal Greenwalks to book accommodation and carry everything but our day packs to the town. Since this route has become so popular, we were reluctant to depend on our speed to guarantee a spot in the auberges along the way.

I am now well aware that many do not finish their trek, largely because they are unprepared. My initial assumption that we were well prepared because we are bikers, skiers, snowborders and walkers. Not true. The weight of packs, kinds of socks and footwear all come into play. Most important is the training for many consecutive days of walking. My husband like many, wears the errors of youth in his knees.  He is now fully aware that the fraternity stunt involving jumping off a balcony for an undisclosed purpose, was a bad idea. 

St. James used a staff for additional balance on his pilgrimage. In Vancouver the people on the seawall using trekking poles often people struggle with mobility and are using them as canes. Many physiotherapists extoll the virtues of using trekking poles for muscle and bone strengthening as well as balance. However, the consideration of trekking poles for my husband and I went under my radar until I started watching the YouTube clips of the Camino Trail. The more I’ve learned and using them has made me a convert to Nordic Trekking Poles.  

What first caught my attention was that Nordic Walking poles reduce compression from the knees by bearing some of the weight.  The biggest advantage of hiking with trekking poles is that they absorb some of the shock your joints take when you step – especially on ascents and descents. This could make all the difference for my husband. One guy on a You Tube recommended cutting off the straps.  Don’t do that! The straps apply pressure on the poles. 

What really appeals to me is the promise of an upper body workout for improved posture, strength and toning. Right away I noticed the poles force me to stand up straighter. It is good to have a force to counter way too much time spent on screens. 

The poles work:

• Arm muscles, with a focus on forearms and triceps.
• Back muscles – particularly your lats and traps. 
• Chest muscles – pecs
• Shoulder Muscles – including deltoids

Although my husband in over 6 feet tall and I’m a good 8 inches shorter, I am the fast walker.  I suspect its genetics from my father. The Nordic poles actually propel me forwards helping me to walk faster, raise my heart rate and expend more energy. I aspire to slow down on the pilgrimage to ponder life but I do like a quick stride. We may not be walking together the whole time. 

The biggest challenge will be getting the trekking poles to Portugal to begin our trek. We were trying to avoid checking baggage.  Although we can fit our telescoping poles into a carryons, major airlines do not consistently allow them on board. It is an annoyance to have to pay to check the bags but the biggest concern is whether they will arrive. Last trip home from Portugal, we each arrived with a bag of port in hand but no luggage.  Fingers crossed that we arrive with all we need to start the walk.  I’ll let you know how that goes. 

I have now watched the clip from the Academy Awards, I’m Just Ken, multiple times.  It does not fail to make me smile. Although I was born in California, I was back in Canada with a new name and a new nationality before I turned a year old. I have held onto the Canadian Born Abroad status and worn it like a badge of honour for my entire life. Growing up in Canada was punctuated with annual trips to visit my American family in Los Angeles. Family dynamics amplified the differentiation between the Canada emphasis on community and the American emphasis on individualism.  On first viewing of Ryan Goslings’ Academy Award performance, his Canadian roots were front and centre and have evoked a tremendous sense of Canadian pride. 

                  Ryan Gosling was amazing in bringing depth to his role as Ken and reinvigorating a conversation about patriarchy. He had every right to celebrate his individual achievement. Certainly, it would be supported by the patriarchy which is obviously alive and well in Hollywood. But his Academy Awards performance had nothing to do with individualism and everything to do with community building. He took the opportunity to lift up others around him and celebrate their achievements in the midst of an inspired performance. 

                  Starting by putting the hat on his sister’s head, he continued to shine the spotlight on others to make them important and proceed with a totally inclusive performance.  Mark Ronson on the bass, Andrew Wyatt on piano, Wolfgang Van Halen and Slash were all front and centre and it was a tribute to their musical talent. Going back into the audience to let Margo Robbie, director Greta Gerwig, and America Ferrera sing, celebrated their role in stimulating conversation around what is to be female through a doll that has been largely dissed by feminists like myself for decades.  Holding the mic up to Emma Stone and engaging in playful banter with Emily Blunt about Barbenheimer, incorporating Simi Liu and Ncuti Gatwa and the other 62 dancers was amazing. After the fact acknowledging the “notes” from his daughters were thoughtful gestures to lift up those around him. And he has guaranteed I will never mix up Mandy Moore actress with Mandy Moore choreographer again. Well done, Ryan Gosling. You’ve not only done us proud but demonstrated that “together we’re better.”